The dreadful Fortnite banana, who is typically covered with a naturally-occurring yellow peel, is naked now.

You might think it would be more correct to say that the banana is skinless, but that isn’t the case. As you can see above, the banana wears regular human shorts, which implies that the peel was not its skin, but a piece of clothing.

More concerning: It implies that the human epidermis is also clothing. 

One more concern: Printed on the banana’s shorts are pictures of banana slices, which would be like if I wore shorts covered with cross-sections of human torsos. I don’t think that’s OK.

There’s a twist, though. We already know that beneath the banana’s bare chest, there are bones. The banana slices depicted on its shorts contain no bones. Either they are boneless banana slices, or, in Fortnite’s world, bananas are both a kind of people and a fruit, and banana fruits perhaps look like, but are otherwise unrelated to, banana people.

If the situation is that they are boneless banana slices, then the banana is probably a cannibal, and (I’m told) on the wrong side of the boneless vs bone-in debate. And, because I’ve had that thought, I’ve now also considered what boneless buffalo banana slices might taste like, and I was slightly surprised to find that my instinct is that it’s probably worth trying.

Anyway, the summer banana, called “Unpeely,” is available in the Summer Legends Pack, which costs $20 in the Fortnite Item Shop. The pack has been there for a few days, so you’ve probably seen it by now if you’re a Fortnite player. Maybe you’ve even purchased it.

If not, here’s a closer look at the atrocious banana:

(Image credit: Epic Games)

Unacceptable!

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